Most who know me have heard the story. When I was 16 years old, a friend was driving me home after a high school football game in Hemet. A drunk motorcyclist was driving the wrong way down the expressway and hit us head on. All the impact was on my side of the car. He died instantly, I fractured my lower back in 3 places, broke my leg in two places, and fractured my ankle. I spent a few months on home-hospital and was initially in a wheelchair.
I healed almost completely and went off to college and moved on with my life, but always felt bad that I didn't do more with the situation. I had thought about joining MADD or doing something else similar but it just never happened.
I've always thought that things happen for a reason. Even at the time, I thought- if he didn't hit us, he would have very likely hit the next car coming down the road. What if that car had a mom and a baby? I was fine with taking the hit, because I felt I was strong enough to take it.
However, I never saw any concrete good that came from my experience. I know sometimes you never see how everything is impacted from one event, but still.
1 1/2 years ago I learned (through a facebook friend's post) that there was an accident at a high school in Hemet. A student plowed through a crosswalk while a group of students were crossing (unintentionally - still debatable if it was brake failure or if he was fooling around and lost control, but that's a different story).
I emailed the pricipal, told my story and offered to help in anyway I could. The principal passed on my email to the parents of the injured students.
One mother contacted me. Her daughter we will call V fractured her pelvis and her arm was cut very badly. I communicated with her mom via email regularly that first month after the accident. I shared my thoughts and ideas about what V might be feeling, how it might show up in her behavior, what her mom should and probably shouldn't say/do, and gave examples of ways she could empower her daughter, and bring back a sense of normalcy.
It's been a year since I have communicated with the mom. Honestly I forgot about the whole situation. She emailed me today and asked if I could call her. When I did she asked me a few questions, and then thanked me many times. She said I was the most helpful of all to her and V after the accident and they really appreciated my words and advice.
I know there were grief counselors brought into the school, along with the school psychologist and doctors they visited. I have never met them in person, so I was surprised, yet honored for her to say I was the most helpful in helping them get through the accident.
So 16 years later, I feel a sense of completeness. Now I see for sure, that something good came from my tragedy, and for that it was worth it.
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