When Something Good comes out of a Bad Situation

Most who know me have heard the story. When I was 16 years old, a friend was driving me home after a high school football game in Hemet. A drunk motorcyclist was driving the wrong way down the expressway and hit us head on. All the impact was on my side of the car. He died instantly, I fractured my lower back in 3 places, broke my leg in two places, and fractured my ankle. I spent a few months on home-hospital and was initially in a wheelchair.
I healed almost completely and went off to college and moved on with my life, but always felt bad that I didn't do more with the situation. I had thought about joining MADD or doing something else similar but it just never happened.
I've always thought that things happen for a reason. Even at the time, I thought- if he didn't hit us, he would have very likely hit the next car coming down the road. What if that car had a mom and a baby? I was fine with taking the hit, because I felt I was strong enough to take it.
However,  I never saw any concrete good that came from my experience. I know sometimes you never see how everything is impacted from one event, but still.

1 1/2 years ago I learned (through a facebook friend's post) that there was an accident at a high school in  Hemet. A student plowed through a crosswalk while a group of students were crossing (unintentionally - still debatable if it was brake failure or if he was fooling around and lost control, but that's a different story).
 I emailed the pricipal, told my story and offered to help in anyway I could. The principal passed on my email to the parents of the injured students.
One mother contacted me.  Her daughter we will call V fractured her pelvis and her arm was cut very badly. I communicated with her mom via email regularly that first month after the accident. I shared my thoughts and ideas about what V might be feeling, how it might show up in her behavior, what her mom should and probably shouldn't say/do, and gave examples of ways she could empower her daughter, and bring back a sense of normalcy.
It's been a year since I have communicated with the mom. Honestly I forgot about the whole situation. She emailed me today and asked if I could call her. When I did she asked me a few questions, and then thanked me many times. She said I was the most helpful of all to her and V after the accident and they really appreciated my words and advice.
I  know there were grief counselors brought into the school, along with the school psychologist and doctors they visited. I have never met them in person, so I was surprised, yet honored for her to say I was the most helpful in helping them get through the accident.
So 16  years later, I feel a sense of completeness. Now I see for sure, that something good came from my tragedy, and for that it was worth it.

Will Speaks of his Prenatal and Newborn Life and Memory of Heaven

Will speaks on his prenatal and newborn life, and on Heaven

Will, almost 5 brought up being a baby again – the first time in a while.

When he talks about it, it is usually out of the blue, and makes very sporadic/fragmented conversation.

There might have been a little more to it, but here’s what I remembered.

I wrote it down as soon as we were done talking because I didn’t want to forget more.

So sitting at the dinner table….

Will: Mom, do you remember your first day on earth?

Mom: No, do you remember your first day on earth?

Will: Yes

Mom: What was it like?

Will: I wanted you to hold me and you didn’t

Mom: Ahh, I’m sorry.

Will: You didn’t push me out, the doctors took me out

Yes, that’s right.

Mom: Do you remember seeing dad on the day you were born?

Will: Yes.

Mom: Did you know who he was? Did you know he was your Dad?

Will: Yes.

Mom: Did you hear him when you were in my tummy?

Will: Yes, I hear him talking to Westley…Made me want to punch Westley

Mom: Were you jealous he was talking to Westley?

Will: Yes

Will: I wanted to punch the water bottle.

Mom: What water bottle?

Will: Your water bottle

Mom: When you were in my tummy?

Will: Yes

Mom: There was a water bottle in my tummy?

Will: Yes… I wanted to touch it.

Mom: I drank water in your tummy

Will: I loved you before I was born… I loved you in Heaven.

Mom: Were you in Heaven before you were born?

Will: Yes.

Mom: Did you meet Jesus in Heaven?

Will: Yes

Mom: Did he talk to you?

Will: Yes

Mom: What did he say?

Will: He told me to be good

Mom: Did he say anything about me?

Will: Yes he said be good for your momma

Two Trophies

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I was a competitive baton twirler from the age of 4-15 years old. I competed in hundreds of competitions including the annual state, regional, and national championship. Between my sister and I, we had over 500 hundred trophies that topped every dresser, shelf and open space in our house. Some were second place trophies from small competitions, some were first place trophies representing and important title and job well done. Over the years, they have pretty much all blended together… I don’t really know which ones represented a great win and the best performance. Of all the trophies I have they all remain in at my parent’s house (many now boxed out in the garage) two I have brought to my home. These two trophies  I remember well and now carry the most importance.

One of these trophies I received when I was 13. At the regional competition each year, there was a Miss Congeniality award. All the baton twirlers voted for one fellow twirler whom they respected and admired not necessarily for their twirling talents, but for their personality and friendship. I was surprised but honored when I was announced the winner of that trophy.

When I was 15, I sprained my neck practicing for the national competition. Like many serious competitors, I tried to compete in the nationals even though it was not healed. I ended up losing feeling in my arms and legs during my first competitive event and left the weeklong competition on a stretcher. Healing from that took a year, but when I was 16 I planned to twirl again. Before I did, I was in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver, leaving me with a fractured back , broken leg, and fractured ankle. This recovery was much harder and longer.

I was lucky to be able to go off to college and work towards new goals, but I hated how my baton life ended. So, on winter break of my freshman year back at my parent’s house. I picked up my baton when no one else was home. My ankle was still weak and when I tried to spin around just once I fell hard to the ground. I repeated this many times, practicing only when no one was around as I knew they would worry and try to stop me. But once I practiced to where I could do at least some of my more basic tricks, I called my mom outside to watch and asked if I could do just one more competition.  Like old times, my mother, sister and I packed the car and this time drove to Las Vegas for a competition. For whatever reason, there weren’t many entries in my category, there was just me and another girl. The other girl was very good and I did not care if she beat me. I just wanted to make it through my routine. Dressed in my old costume and with my ankle wrapped up, I twirled two batons in front of the judges. I made it through and I was very proud of myself. Now I could retire the batons with a sense of pride. I did get a second place trophy that day. Normally taking home a second place trophy if there were only two competitors in the event was like a slap in the face, but this time it was a treasure.

As with a competitor in any sport, winning was important. There are pictures on a winner’s podium of great smiles standing on the top #1 and some of fake smiles holding back tears when standing on #2, #3, or even on the floor next to the podium when below the top 5. But all these competitions, along with the coaching of my teacher and mom, and the companionship of my fellow twirlers are what taught me the most important lessons in life.  They built in me a positive character, a sense of respect, good sportsmanship, personal motivation, and the desire to strive for goals and not give up. When I look at my two trophies, that is what they represent.

Stuffed Bell Peppers- Asian Style

I created a new recipe, and I really liked it!

I was craving stuffed bell peppers, and lettuce wrap Asian chicken, so here is what came of it.

Stuffed Bell Peppers- Asian style
serves 4

1/2 pound of ground chicken breast

1-2 cups of brown rice

1 package of Simply Asian Kung Pao Stir Fry sauce (or you could make your own)

1/2 onion, finely chopped

1/4 cup shredded carrots (cut so they are not too long)

1/2 cup zucchini finely chopped

1/4 cup chopped cashews (peanuts would work too)

1 tablespoon soy sauce

2 red bell pepper (orange or yellow bell peppers would be good too)


Cook the brown rice.
Heat oil in a skillet, begin cooking the chopped onion and carrot shreds on medium-medium high heat. When soft, add the ground chicken and cook until done (lightly browned). When the meat is almost cooked, add the finely chopped zucchini. Add the sauce, then add the the cashews.

Mix together the cooked brown rice with the soy sauce. Then, add the chicken mixture.

Cut the bell peppers lengthwise and cut out the seeds.

Spoon in the chicken/rice mixture, packing as much in as you can.

Top with sesame seeds (if desired)

Bake for 45min at 350 degrees.


The Kung Pao Sauce is spicy, but when mixed with everything else, the end result is not too spicy. If you like spice, you can easily top yours with Siracha sauce before or after baking.

Water chestnuts and green onions would go well in this recipe if you like those things (which I don't)

You cannot taste the Zucchini in the recipe.

We ate ours alongside some steamed broccoli. I mixed the broccoli in with this as I was eating and really liked it. So, broccoli could easily be added to the recipe, but the bell peppers fill up fast.

Honey Wheat Oat Bread

I have been working on testing and perfecting this recipe. I love this bread!
I slice it, lightly butter each side and grill the bread on a griddle, then use for sandwiches. So good, I am now a homemade bread snob and I cannot even eat a sandwich on regular bread anymore.

Honey Wheat Oat Bread

5 cups unbleached flour

3 ¼ cups whole wheat flour

1 ½  cups oats (I use Coach’s Oats, but you can also use, old fashioned or quick cooking)

4 1/2 tablespoons sugar

1 tablespoon salt

2 1/2 teaspoons rapid rise yeast

1/3 cup honey

1/3 cup canola oil (or vegetable oil works too)

1 tablespoon flax oil (optional)

3 1/2 cups hot water

1/8 cup vital wheat gluten flour (optional- helps it rise though)

In a very large mixing bowl, stir together the flour, oats, sugar, salt.  

In a 4 cup measuring cup or medium bowl whisk yeast, honey and oil into the water.

Stir the water mixture into the flour mixture, until blended. (I use my dough hook on my mixer).

Then add the vital wheat gluten and mix just until thoroughly blended

Put a cup of water in the microwave for 2 minutes. Then put the bowl of dough in the microwave to let the bread rise (if your bowl will not fit, then you can let your bread rise on your counter top) Let rise until double in size.

Spray two loaf pounds with Baker’s Joy (or Pam, but Baker’s Joy works better for non-stick)

Spoon dough into the loaf pans  let rise again until they reach above the top of the pan (you can do the microwave rise again if you want)

Bake at 375 for 45-50 minutes (halfway through, gently cover  the loaves with foil to prevent the tops from getting to dark).

Cool in pans on wire rack for 5 minutes. Then remove from the pans and cool loaves on wire racks.

Dear Professor

 Teaching is often frustrating and exhausting, but getting feedback like this makes it all worth it.

Dear Professor,

            I was assigned to write a letter to a former teacher who has made an impact on my life. You were my first choice, for you’ve taught me more than most I’ve ever known or remember. I have never had another teacher or professor from any school support me in the way you have. What you did for me in my first college class last year made such an impact with me and helped me to gain assurance and strength to carry on with my education in college courses. When I was at my worst with so much frustration and close to dropping not only your class but out of college altogether, you were able to get me to focus on the positive, understand my personal situation, and give me self-confidence to complete your class.

            I have continued my courses knowing I can do what I need to do to accomplish my goals. I’ve learned to not put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. I continue to think of you and remember the lessons you taught me throughout my first class with you. Your structure and attention to detail was just what I needed to help me be successful.

            As I begin to work with children, I plan to use your style of teaching, attention to detail, structure in planning, and understanding that we all are people first. I will think of you as I help students overcome their difference and other obstacles they may come across. I plan on communicating with not only my students but also their parents in a timely manner as you have with your students.

            I have been blessed to have you as my “first” official college professor and I don’t believe I’d be continuing my education if it wasn’t for you support and believe in me the way you have.

Thank you,

Westley told about Angels, Jesus, and Heaven after his Great Grandma died

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Just days after her 94th birthday, Grandma Nellie May Franke passed away. Westley was 3 at the time. We wanted to wait a few days until closer to the funeral to tell him she had died, so we were careful not to talk about her death.

5/17/10 I just made this picture my computer desktop picture. Westley (who didn't know yet that Great Grandma died) came over and looked at it for a minute, and then pointed at the picture and said There's God. He said there's two... one's a birdy-man. I asked if the birdy-man had wings and he said yes. I got him close to the screen and asked him to show me where God was. He pointed to the white area above Grandma

5/18/10 Westley was reading a book about seasons, nature and animals  with Grandma Kathy. He pointed to part of the top of the page and said "that's where Marni is” (Marni is my cousin who passed away last year). Kathy asked "what is that?" and he said "Heaven" She asked who else was in Heaven and he said Great Grandma. (I had still not told him that Great Grandma died)

5/19/10 I sat down with Westley today before his nap and I was going to tell him Great Grandma had died and was now in Heaven.

Before I mentioned Grandma he brought up her name and told me she doesn't live at her place anymore. I said that was right… that she lives in Heaven now and we won't see her again until we go to Heaven.  He asked why she wasn't in the hospital anymore, he said "cause it didn't work?" ( I think referring to them healing Grandma) I said, well it helped some and she got out of the hospital but it must have just been her time for her to go to Heaven. He told me "sometimes it isn't your time"  (not sure where he got that from, it’s nothing we have ever talked about before) I said that's right. I told him Great Grandma saw Jesus when she was 84 but he told her it wasn't her time yet, so she lived here on earth until now when it was her time..

That's all I remember. He didn't cry or seem emotional - he was very matter of fact about it and acted like he already knew. 

5/20 I continued to talk about Grandma to remind him why we would be going to Hemet. I mentioned angels taking Grandma to Heaven. He said “No, first she gets her wings.” I confirmed, “They give her her wings and then she is able to go up to heaven?” He said yes. I asked him where he learned that as it isn’t something we have said before, thinking maybe he heard something at church. But when I asked “Who taught you that?” He said “Jesus told me… when I was a little little baby.”

I asked him if he had been to Heaven, he said “yes” but then quit answering me.